Beer snob lost in an ocean of green beer

I had to scold Jim at Bob's for what he served prior to my Smithwicks --- a pint glass of green beer.

St. Patrick's was not as hard when I chose more mainstream selections at the bar; go with the Guinness, and never go wrong.

But I make no apologies for turning up my nose at the green piss people pour down their gullets on St. Patrick's Day. If I peed in a cup and added green food coloring, would that make it Irish on this day? Because it would probably taste about the same. Sorry to get graphic, but the idea that green beer is Irish has always rankled me.

It seems as if the sole purpose is the stream of green vomit that often concludes the night of green Coors Light.

Any pale straw American lager suddenly becomes an essential part of the holiday with a pinch of green ... I'll just keep sipping my Murphy's Stout and not mention a word to these merry nowhere men (and women) about what they're missing.